This has to be a nominee for Worst. Column. Ever.
Customer Service? Yeah, Right!
Sonny Riddle goes to a “local burger restaurant” and orders a hamburger the way that he wants it. To add drama to this situation, he specifically orders “no cheese”. Yes, us non-newspaper-professionals realize that Sonny has done something to make any burger place worker’s head explode, but let’s keep going for the sake of this posting. Hard to believe, Sonny gets CHEESE on his BURGER! Holy artery-cloggers! The world is truly coming to an end, because he takes the one slice of cheese and extrapolates that into why customer service is horrible today. We also deduct fourteen points and MUTE him because he invokes words from Judge Judy.
Have you ever tried to scrape melted cheese from a burger and bun? It’s almost impossible!
Oh the Horrors! It’s almost impossible, he tells you! Don’t let this happen to you! Think of the children! The terrorists have already won!
I never thought I’d say this, but I’d rather read a column of “Beth Robertson Forwards Email Crap To The Readers That Don’t Have The Intrawebs!” instead of another episode “Sonny Hates Cheese”.
The Gazette is a complete joke. Why in the world does a small town paper need three weekly columnists (four when Chief Shelton waxes neo-con) anyway? All of them struggle to find material and it really shows. Why don’t they go out and actually REPORT THE NEWS??? Bryant’s kid gets more bylines in the paper than she.
I suppose they could go out to events see a big turnout like Sylvia and Tucker MCLaughlin did on Memorial Day, say you are there for the paper, and never print a word of it. Tucker did fill his belly with hotdogs maybe that was why he came anyway.
Our local print media is sub-standard. They make no effort to report state or national news, and the local news is often half-a*sed. I’m still agog over the “so and so had dinner at so and so’s” columns and the editorials about nothing in particular. Unfortunately, it’s all we have and we make do.
As far as Sonny’s burger goes, does he actually expect a local fast food restaurant to get an order right? I gave up on that a long time ago.
Sonny sure had a bad day when he wrote that that blather.