… so says Tom Raab. That makes it official, you know.
Virginia Coalition: The battle is not over
After hitting the $15,000 Jackpot from Halifax County and the towns of South Boston & Halifax, the Virginia Coalition went for more cash at VIR Friday night. $75 got you into the door of “Race To Keep The Ban” (a name that makes no sense because there’s no race at all for that). If you had gone to this soiree, you’d have been treated to the music of Dane Ferguson and the “Improbable Cause” band (now that band’s name would be quite fitting for this group).
Anytime you’ve got Halifax County’s Anti-Uranium Elite combining with alcohol, you’re bound to get some hilarious quotes. This crowd didn’t let me down on that. Let’s start it off with John Cannon’s quote…
We have severely wounded our competitor, Virginia Uranium, Inc.
Oh yeah, they’re out there waving the white flag of surrender now. They’re in complete disorganization and had better pack up shop now with the Virginia Coalition attacking them. My eyes. They roll. I do have to remember that he was playing to a captive audience of people who are of his thought process, so I’ll cut him a little slack.
Best entertainer of the night? Former South Boston town councilman Tom Raab. Raab was apparently channeling the spirit of Jack Dunavant when he let out this doozy…
The problem with uranium is you won’t see the effects for 30 years. When those 30 years kick in, everybody’s dying.
That’s it, folks. He’s not a doctor and he doesn’t play one on TV. He’s got absolutely no proof of what he’s talking about… um, because he’s pulling stuff like that out of his butt (or Jack Dunavant’s butt). But hey, if Tom Raab says it, it’s got to be true. You’re going to die. It’s going to start 30 years after uranium mining starts. Now there have been a few holes drilled at Coles Hill for testing purposes, so I’m not quite sure if your 30 year Coffin countdown has already started. Check with him and see if you’ve already got one foot in the grave. If you’re going to cash it in, go buy some of that life insurance that Alex Trebek sells on TV. Trebek is Canadian and uranium mining is in progress there, so he’ll be glad to sell you a policy.
Now since Raab has that pesky “Unless Proven Safe” part on his No Uranium Mining signs like all the other people who want to look like they’re objective-thinking people, I’m not sure what happens to his theory if it’s indeed Proven Safe. You may want to ask Alex Trebek if there’s a money-back guarantee on that life insurance policy if that happens. I do believe that your Terminal Timeclock keeps ticking, though.
I’m obliged to point out that you’re on the path to dying once you’re born, but that wouldn’t give me a chance to mock ridiculous statements like Tom Raab said.
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