OddsMakers!: Clarence Monday

Hey, we were right! Like you ever doubted us…  Clarence Monday will be the new Pittsylvania County Administrator starting July 1st. We’re going to give him the SouthsideCentral OddsMakers! treatment in this article.

What are the Chances? Let’s take a look at some of the proposition bets that we’ve got on this Clarence Monday edition.

Item #1) “A member of the Pittsylvania County Board of Supervisors tells Monday to “kiss their ass” within the first six months.” (Hey, it only took two months at his last stop in Amherst County) – Monday’s going from a county with a dysfunctional Board of Supervisors to a county that has a dysfunctional Board of Supervisors. This isn’t going to be pretty. I’m going with 68% here.

Sidebet: Who’ll be the first one to snap and bite Monday’s head off?  James Snead is our best guess here. He’s the supervisor that was busted snarling at a rescue squad saying that they were “bleeding the county dry” when they just asked for reimbursement of expenses. Coy Harville is my second guess just because he’s Coy Harville. Jerry Hagerman would never say something like that, but he would be sneaky and record it. Count Tim Barber out of being mean to Clarence Monday (simply because he ain’t one of them there foreigners). Brenda Bowman would never say it, but you could see it in her eyes (ask Ken about that, I’m sure). Jessie Barksdale & Elton Blackstock are just too nice.

Item #2) “Clarence Monday moves to Pittsylvania County (as he said he’s going to do) in the next 12 months.” –  Well, he said he was going to move to Amherst County and didn’t. He may rent a house and live in Pittsylvania County, but it would be stupid for him to sell his house and move for this job. 11% chance of this happening.

Item #3) “Clarence Monday gets the Board of Supervisors to drop the appeals on the prayer lawsuit.” – It’s a losing battle and sooner or later, the county is going to cough up the legal costs that are continuing to rack up. Bill Stanley’s a smart politician and he’s going to keep fighting on this to get him publicity as long as he can, at least until the next State Senate election. Monday would be smart to get this accomplished, but this board of Dummies will never do it. 0% chance of this happening… the big squadoosh!

Item #4) “Clarence Monday gets the board to bring back the Economic Development Office” – Monday may be a lot of goofy for other reasons, but he’s smart enough to know that the spiteful action of the Board of Supervisors canning Ken Bowman was a stupid-ass decision and the county is suffering with no real economic development direction. He’ll have to find a polite way to make it happen but I believe he will. 91% chance of this happening.

Item #5) “Assistant County Administrator Greg Sides leaves in the next 12 months” – When you’ve got a power-mad Board of Supervisors, a meek and mild County Administrator is the best fit. I’m very surprised that Pittsylvania County didn’t promote Greg Sides to the top position (assuming he wanted it). Sides is quiet but knows how to get things done. If things get chaotic in Chatham, Sides could easily move on to a bigger and better position at another county. I wouldn’t be surprised if this happens but right now, it’s only a 28% chance.

Item #6) “Clarence Monday lasts longer in Pittsylvania County than he did in Amherst County” – The only chance of Monday lasting more than 30 months in this job is if there’s a big housecleaning in the 2015 elections. James Snead, Coy Harville, Tim Barber and Jerry Hagerman are a majority of “interesting characters” that already have the power to send Monday packing at any time they want. One of those four would have to lose to get the power back to the mostly-sane faction of Brenda Bowman, Jessie Barksdale and Elton Blackstock. I don’t think that’s going to happen because of the prayer lawsuit. There are way too many mind-numbed county voters who believe that the current board is doing the right thing on the prayer lawsuit and those voters will completely support the incumbents. Sooner or later, Clarence Monday is going to piss off those “interesting characters” and they will can him like a harvest of tomatoes without thinking about the ramifications. I hope he can survive 30 months in Chatham, but I’ve got to be real. There’s only a 9% chance of Clarence Monday making it to that milestone.

This Clarence Monday edition of OddsMakers is 100% over. More to come on SouthsideCentral…