I may not be able to see what’s going on in that “Southside News & Views – Uncensored” Facebook group (because it’s locked down and I was pre-banned), but I have friends that can. Those friends are glad to share the worst of the worst with us here at SouthsideCentral, and we’re going to call out the most irresponsible pieces of horsecrap that show up there. That’s why we’ve started a new feature called “UncensoredWatch”. It’s probably going to be as big of a fun trainwreck as the LeonardWatch category usually is. We’re perfectly fine with that.

In case you missed it, when I asked people to try to avoid the same old Confederate flag discussions over and over again in the “Southside News & Views” Facebook group, the most deranged devout flag supporters went and made their own group. Good riddance.

In our first UncensoredWatch, we’re going to take a look at a “friend of a friend” story. Yeah, it’s just as bad as ol’ Leonardo.

First of all, thanks to all the people who send me horsecrap from that group. I appreciate the abundance of source material. Here we go.

Sometime last week, this masterpiece showed up on that group…

Cool story, bro. Except for one thing…

IT DIDN’T HAPPEN!

Our friends at the Danville Police Department & Danville Emergency Services scoured their records back to June 1st and found absolutely nothing like the attempted home invasion that was described above.

Here’s some facts and notes from my investigation of this through the Danville Police Department & Emergency Services. Let’s put them on a Big Board.

• Emergency Services runs a computer program that automatically pops up a suggested list of questions based of the type on incident that’s being reported. This allows the dispatcher to quickly gather information that will help the responding people.
• One of those questions asked in a “home invasion” scenario could be “Do you know them?”, as that can lead to a possible domestic violence add-on to the incident.
• One of those questions is definitely not “ASK THEIR NAME !!!!”, as nobody in their right mind would expect someone to confront a potential intruder.
• There is absolutely no chance in hell of a two-hour police response time to a “home invasion in progress” call as that would be automatically prioritized to the top of the list of pending calls. Imminent danger, that sort of thing you know. Sheesh.

We’ve established that the “friend of a friend” report is horsecrap, so how could this story get any worse? Yep, you guessed it. Stupid people who automatically jump to the conclusion that this is true.

Now, we do give Tim Cassell credit for realizing that this story probably is horsecrap. And we’ll forgive his typo of “heresy” for “hearsay” because that word would also apply to this narrative. Tina Oakes will count to the oddly specific number of four before she starts shooting. Heh. Those comments say it all, folks.

I smelled horsecrap as soon as I looked at the original post, but then I think rationally (or at least try to). Sadly, I know would be greatly outnumbered in that group in that aspect.

So there you go. It’s our first look at “UncensoredWatch” and it’s not going to be the last. It doesn’t matter if they’ve banned SouthsideCentral. We’re watching.